Back in Ukraine....

I cannot believe that it is already March of 2011. Anyone who has talked to me recently knows that 2010 was a pretty hard year. I was glad to see it go. I was just home for the longest duration since I have moved to Ukraine. It was so good to be with my family and friends. I have to be honest, Ukraine is not an easy place to live. What we do here often is racked with heartache and disappointment. But I know God has a plan for my life. I am not sure what 2011 holds for me. But I do know that I want to do whatever it is He has called me too. For awhile now I have felt pretty detached about many things in life. I have even felt a bit detached in my relationship with God. Although, one thing I know He has been teaching me is perseverance. The hardest times to persevere is when your heart no longer is filled with emotion and passion. As humans we are so run by emotions and then you add being a girl on top of that. I know that the enemy wants to do anything he can to tear us down. And believe me, he is doing a good job. But there is verse that seems to be the theme for the past few months that always comes to mind. Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

With all that said, I am very excited to see what this year holds. Being back in Ukraine fighting jet lag, waking up to snow when I am for sure a cali girl, and sometimes feeling like I will never adjust culturally, and fearing I am going to become the crazy cat lady because our cat has been my only joy lately. (I have never even liked cats) I know I can lose sight of what is most important and all those things I just listed are not what's most important.

I cannot wait for next month when SP our kid we have visited in jail for 3 years will get out. I cannot wait to see how God works out this summer for camp however that will look. Sometimes I feel like my heart cannot take anymore burns or scars but then I realize that is what makes me who I am. And God uses those scars for His glory when I let Him. I catch myself more often daydreaming of a "normal" life. And maybe one day I will get that. But I want to enjoy where I am now. We are not promised tomorrow and I truly want to live every second with purpose. I often fail but I am thankful I serve a God who is full of grace and never gives up on me.