Faith or a lack of it...

I have always thought I was someone with a lot of faith. But I have realized I often lack it where I should have it. I am saddened to admit this but it is the truth. Living in Ukraine and doing the work I do, my faith is often tested. I fail more than I wish. I want to be someone who prays about something and just believes it is going to happen or even just be able to leave it. My mom always said growing up, "If you pray for rain then take an umbrella." I want to be this kind of person. I have seen God do incredible things. This year I have seen God do miracles. After all that you would think that I wouldn't doubt, right?! WRONG!
One thing I feel bad about, is not having faith with a kid I work with here in Ukraine. The two boys I wrote about not that long ago have hit a sore spot with me. Sasha I realize I kind of wrote off. I didn't think he would be the one to do much or have an interest of the things of the Lord. I thought that Ura would grow up and be the one to want purpose in his life. But Sash is actually the one that is trying. He is going to school and making decisions that will later benefit his life. Ura is not making the best decisions and I worry more for him. How horrible of me to not truly believe that Sash could change. I don't understand why I have seen God do such great things but it's as if I get memory loss and not believe it could happen again.  There are so many instances here in Ukraine that can make you lose faith but if you are trusting God then they those should be the things that actually grow your faith.
I think God is really teaching me about faith. I have a ways to go and I don't think I will ever know it all. But I am excited that He never gives up on me.

Vova

The first time I came to Ukraine was 7 years ago. Holy moly, that is a long time ago, now that I say it out loud. There are kids that I still have a close relationship with from the very first trip. Vova is one of them. I remember him at the orphanage as one of the cool kids. I remember him telling us how God was not in his heart. This of course was with basically no understanding of the language at the time. I think God was starting to work on him at that moment. Vova is full of life and sure does love to party. He is a joy to be around. He cannot handle sad emotions which means he is either not around for sad times or tries to lighten the mood. We have walked with Vova for the past 7 years and it has been a bumpy road filled with good times and trying times.  I will always hope he will see that he can live a different life, one with purpose. I will always hope that Vova comes to know the Lord personally as it will change his life. Vova had lived with us for a couple years and in the past year we had to kick him out. There was nothing drastic that happened which I am very thankful for. But the kids have to sign contracts to live here and he was just not upholding his end of the deal. It was really sad and we questioned our decision of course. But time passed and we saw that we had made the right decision. He needed to to get out and figure out things on his own. We told him he was family and always would be. But we of course feared what our relationship might be. We didn't see him for months.  We had heard he was not doing so well in life and drunk most days. This is of course heartbreaking but if I am honest, also frustrating for me. I know these kids have so much potential and sometimes I lose my grace. I am working on it but I fail more than I succeed.
But then he called a couple weeks ago and asked if he could come over. I would like to be honest and say I was thrilled. I knew his birthday was coming very soon and I figured that is why he wanted to come over. Again, I know I need a lot of work in the heart department. Sometimes, I can be very ugly. He came over and it was like no time had passed. He was his usual joyful self full of laughs and hugs.
Yesterday was his birthday and he asked if he could spend it with us. We had some guests that were already scheduled to come so that put a little bit different spin on the day. But he didn't even seem to mind. It was like he was just glad to be "home". Even despite my ugly moments with my bad attitude, I am thankful we were able to spend another birthday with him. He is now 22 and a young man. I look forward to many more with him.

Blowing out his candles.

Happy 22nd Birthday Vova!

Family pictures.

Present time.

Girl's night

The boys had a floorball tournament in another city which left us girls alone :)  We decided to invite Anya over for a sleep over. She was exited to come and hang out. One of our friends from church Ira, also came over. She is dying for curly hair, and mind you, she has the straightest straight hair. So we spend hours and I do mean hours, curling her hair. We painted nails, ate family dinner, made hot chocolate, her and Annie had a photo shoot on the roof. This consisted of Annie basically taking over 70 pictures of Anya. Then like any other teenager she spent hours on the computer chatting with friends and uploading her pictures. The next day we all got up and went to church. She came back home with us and it was a nice lazy day. It was fun to get to spend time with just Anya and shower some extra love on her.

Our own personal salon :)

Ira

Anya after hours of curling her hair.

A day in the village

A day in the village starts out with a train ride that is almost 2 hours. This is a small electric train and they cram as many people as you can. It is always an adventure. Our adventure this time was us speaking english and a drunk man getting very upset about it. Sasha asked what the problem was and at the man first said there wasn't one but then proceeded to run his mouth. We moved to the other side of the train so that no problems would ensue. He kept making eye contact with Sasha, pointing, and making other strange gestures. But thankfully, that is where it ended. Then we walked about 2 miles and stopped in the center of the village for our beloved coffee, ice cream, and chips. This is a tradition we have had for years. We then walked the rest of the way to Dusya's house.  Hanging out at Duysa's consists of running around with Vala (her 5 year old) and Andre (her 1 year old).  We also go over to the orphanage and hang out on the sports field with the kids. Vala and Andre's dad Sergei is away working, so Dus is pretty much a single mom. She often looks tired but never complains. She always has food for us even though I know she has little money. She is truly one of the strongest people I know. I am inspired by her and am so blessed to be in her life. I look forward to our days in the village with this little family whom I dearly love.

On our walk.

Our nutritious breakfast and sometimes lunch.

 


 

Vala

Andre

Dusya and Andre

Two loves of my life...

There are two boys, Ura and Sasha, that are probably the reason I came back to Ukraine after my first trip. Sasha was the very first little boy I saw and secretly hoped he would be in my group my first year at camp. And low and behold he was. Then there was Ura. That little boy stole my heart and I was a goner. We stayed at the orphanage for a month and those two boys were glued to my sides. They would get mad if anyone tried to even come near me. I met them when they were 10 and 11 and cannot believe that Ura just celebrated his 19th birthday and Sasha in a few days will celebrate his 18th. I am ridiculously grateful that I have been able to walk alongside them for this long. After my first summer I looked into adoption because I couldn't imagine them not having family and never seeing them again. Of course, this was a crazy dream and there was not a big enough age difference. They graduated the orphanage a year ago in May. And this summer they lived with us at our apartment here in Sumy. My dream had come true. I still am in awe sometimes when I see them here and we celebrate birthdays or even just have family dinner. I love these boys with an incredible love that I know comes from God.

Both boys graduated the orphanage and went to a trade school 2 hours away from Sumy. I of course, wanted them to transfer to Sumy so they could be close. They did transfer and now are attending different schools but both in Sumy. I could not be happier about this. This has been a journey as it seems nothing here is ever without adventure. But that story will be for another time. Right now I am just going to bask in having both boys close and in school.

Sasha when I first met him.

Ura in all his cuteness.

We did not speak the same language so a lot of tickling happened.

A couple years after I met them.

At their graduation. I was so proud.

Ura's birthday celebration