Faith or a lack of it...

I have always thought I was someone with a lot of faith. But I have realized I often lack it where I should have it. I am saddened to admit this but it is the truth. Living in Ukraine and doing the work I do, my faith is often tested. I fail more than I wish. I want to be someone who prays about something and just believes it is going to happen or even just be able to leave it. My mom always said growing up, "If you pray for rain then take an umbrella." I want to be this kind of person. I have seen God do incredible things. This year I have seen God do miracles. After all that you would think that I wouldn't doubt, right?! WRONG!
One thing I feel bad about, is not having faith with a kid I work with here in Ukraine. The two boys I wrote about not that long ago have hit a sore spot with me. Sasha I realize I kind of wrote off. I didn't think he would be the one to do much or have an interest of the things of the Lord. I thought that Ura would grow up and be the one to want purpose in his life. But Sash is actually the one that is trying. He is going to school and making decisions that will later benefit his life. Ura is not making the best decisions and I worry more for him. How horrible of me to not truly believe that Sash could change. I don't understand why I have seen God do such great things but it's as if I get memory loss and not believe it could happen again.  There are so many instances here in Ukraine that can make you lose faith but if you are trusting God then they those should be the things that actually grow your faith.
I think God is really teaching me about faith. I have a ways to go and I don't think I will ever know it all. But I am excited that He never gives up on me.