Monday, April 1, 2013
Tired
Today I am tired.... Not like I need to sleep tired just tired... Or maybe drained is a better word. Tired of hearing a new young girl is pregnant and the father left her because it. Tired of hearing of another kid we love and have tried to help is in jail. Tired of being taken advantage of. Tired of seeing kids we love get taken advantage of. Tired of seeing we only have a little over $400 in our bank account when I feel like we just fundraised. Tired of having two worlds and feeling like I am missing out on one or the other. Tired of feeling spiritually attacked. Tired of having a language barrier. Tired of really bad, gloomy weather that makes me feel depressed. Tired of not knowing exactly where I should be or what I should be doing. Then I read this back to myself and realize that I sound like such a whiner. I have so many things to be thankful for and yet I am stuck in my den of gloom. Sadly, I can read this, know that I am a whiner and yet I still feel these same emotions. Please don't get me wrong, I know people are going through much worse things than me. I am not taking away from that or even trying to compare. Just feeling down. Hopefully tomorrow will bring sunshine :)
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Melissa - I understand. And lack of sunshine has SO much to do with my mood too. We've had a really long, cold winter here in PA with hardly any sun and I'm feeling it too. On the practical side of things, your Vitamin D levels are probably low. Is there anyway you can find a Vitamin D supplement over there? 1000 I.U. at a minimum. I take 5000 I.U. every day. I struggle with depression and anxiety and when you throw a long, dreary winter in the mix, it makes it even more difficult and more of a struggle. I'll be praying for you. Really.
ReplyDeleteThank you Amber. I appreciate your prayers. Anika has Vitamin D that she shares with. And we have some emergenC that has vitamin D in it too. There has been sunshine for the last two days so that is helping :)
DeleteI'm sad that I don't pay enough attention to what you go through when you're there... What you do is so amazing. Yet being here I don't always realize it. I read your blogs and think of the HUGE impact you are having. It truly amazes me. :) Hang in there Mel! You all are doing such amazing things.
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